The Science of Sticking: Why Your Habits Keep Falling Apart (And How to Fix It)
by Karen Best
If you're reading this, chances are you've started a positive habit more than once. Maybe it was daily exercise, drinking more water, or getting to bed earlier. You had the best intentions, felt motivated, and genuinely wanted to make the change. So why didn't it stick?
Here's the truth that might surprise you: You're not weak, and you don't lack willpower. The problem isn't with you—it's with how we've been taught to think about habits.
The Real Reason Habits Fail
Most people believe that successful habit change requires massive motivation, iron willpower or a magic number like 30 days. But as a behavioral change specialist, I can tell you that's one of the biggest misconceptions we have about habits. Motivation gets you started, but it's systems and smart planning that keep you going.
I learned this firsthand during a six-week teaching stint in Australia. With my normal schedule completely flipped, I suddenly had the mental space to realize I could do so much more with my time than I thought. But it wasn't about finding more motivation—it was about developing better systems and plans around the time I actually have.
Understanding the Habit Loop
Every habit follows a simple three-step cycle:
Cue (the trigger)
Habit (the behavior)
Reward (the benefit you get)
When you understand this cycle, you can design your environment and routines to work with your brain instead of against it. The key is making each step as automatic as possible.
Make It Easy, Make It Obvious
The easier and more obvious you make your desired habit, the more likely you are to stick with it. This means removing as many decisions and obstacles as possible. Here are some powerful strategies:
Set up helpful rules for yourself:
"I cannot go home before my evening class" (because you know you'll get lost in the couch)
"I get my workout clothes ready the night before" (eliminating the morning scramble and last-minute decisions)
"My yoga mat stays set up in my living room all week"
“Never miss twice” is one of James Clear’s favorite phrases from his book Atomic Habits
Remove friction:
Keep your sneakers by the door
Have your water bottle filled and ready
Make plans with a friend to exercise together
Set up your home space for online classes ahead of time
At the Yoga Center of Columbia, we offer over 100 classes per week with total schedule flexibility, making it easy to accommodate all kinds of needs. Consider choosing "recurring" classes if you have a steady schedule, or start each week by planning and reserving your classes for the entire week. When it's left to the last minute, we tend to have to "make a decision"—and decisions create resistance.
Start Smaller Than You Think
This might be the most important advice I can give you: Start with something almost embarrassingly small. I had a student who wanted to tackle impulse shopping—a major lifetime pattern that was affecting her finances and peace of mind. But when she tried to completely overhaul her spending habits overnight, she felt like a "failure" when it didn't stick.
She wasn't a failure at all. She just needed to start small and exercise her habit muscles with something easier first.
Another student, Sarah, came to me with her friend for a Pilates workshop. They had no exercise experience but noticed they needed to add regular movement as they got older. Instead of jumping into hour-long daily workouts, I told them to commit to just 10 minutes, four times a week.
I kept repeating: "Ten minutes makes a difference."
Six weeks later, they both came back—not only had they succeeded with their small commitment, but the results motivated them to sign up for regular classes. This illustrates a crucial point: motivation doesn't create success or motion. Motion and success motivate MORE motion and success. Sarah still takes with me 8 years later and is stronger than ever before.
Aim for 80%, Not Perfection
Here's permission to be human: Aim for 80% achievement on your plans. Do not seek perfection. Be kind with yourself when you cannot or do not make it. Celebrate that 80%—it's actually incredible progress.
When your system falls apart (and it will sometimes), start over knowing you have more skills than last time. Each attempt teaches you something valuable about what works for your life and what doesn't.
Simple Rewards Matter
Don't underestimate the power of small, immediate rewards. These can include:
Noticing how you feel after each class, workout, or achievement
Remembering the health and emotional health benefits you're creating
Enjoying a special cup of tea after completing your habit
Calling a loved one (I do this while folding laundry—which I truly do not enjoy—and it transforms the entire experience)
Acknowledging your consistency with a simple "I did it!" moment
Building Your Habit Foundation
Remember, you're not just trying to create one habit—you're developing the skill of habit formation itself. Start with low-hanging fruit. Master the system with something manageable before tackling your biggest challenges.
The beautiful thing about building these skills is that they transfer. Once you've successfully created one small habit, you have proof that you can do it, and the next habit becomes easier.
Ready to dive deeper into sustainable habit change? Join me for Habits That Stick: A Practical Workshop for Sustainable Change on September 7 at the Yoga Center of Columbia. Available both in-studio and online, this workshop will give you concrete tools and personalized strategies for lasting transformation.
Because the goal isn't to be perfect—it's to keep moving forward, one small step at a time.
